I Want to Be a Shot Heard 'Round The World

24. Alabama. Foul-mouthed, but lady-like. Apple eater. Kitty petter. Baby kisser.

bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

(via tyleroakley)

I have an entire forest living inside of me and you carved your initials on every tree.

—totorobae (via totorobae)

(via plantaae)

  • 14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
  • 17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
  • 21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?

Chris [Pratt] never uses a spit bucket. When you do scenes where a character is eating, you eat and then spit it out into a ‘spit bucket.’ Chris just keeps eating. If you see Andy eating a cheeseburger in a scene, you should know Chris Pratt ate like 8 cheeseburgers. I love that guy.

—Aziz Ansari (via hellagaby)

(Source: baconpancakeslovesfatties, via redtank)